Do you consider yourself a good man? A man that works hard and “brings home the bacon”, treats his wife with respect and love, helps around the house, does his best to be a loving father? Yet despite these nobel attributes find yourself constantly rebuked by your spouse? Don’t worry! You are far from alone!
There is an epidemic of sexless marriages across the country. We have scoured the internet trying to find the causes and solutions to this problem. Why did your wife show you so much sexual affection early in your relationship, but has now gone cold? If you are a good man you have likely tried everything from rubbing her feet every night, to doing the dishes, to cooking meals, all while still bringing home a paycheck to pay the bills… After all, you are a good man! You are just hoping that by decreasing the stress in her life you will be able to reignite that passion she once had. The sad truth is it is very unlikely to help because you have been slowly emasculated.
When a woman first meets her future husband she sees him as a man; a man that can get things done, be a leader for their future family; a man that can “bring home the bacon”. This causes a physical attraction that leads to the physical intimacy that men crave, and quite frankly need. However, as the relationship continues she starts to see your small flaws, the chinks in your armor so to speak. The affection fades, and in many relationships it disappears completely. Meanwhile the man is left wondering why? You do your damndest to solve the problem. You buy her things, place her on a pedastal, worship her every move. Still no affection… What is going on? She no longer sees you as that strong leader; she sees you as a comfortable roommate. A roommate that will help pay the bills, and raise the kids, and do the dishes, but not a man who will lead and take control. You have been slowly emasculated.
So what is the fix? Take back your “manliness”. The hardest part of fixing a sexless marriage is convincing your wife that you are that man she fell in love with many years ago. Continue to treat her with respect and love, but start spending some time on becoming a “beast of a man”. A man capable of courage, restraint, and self control… A man who is strong, both mentally, and physically. We have put together a brief guide below to help men reclaim their masculinity. Will this fix your relationship? Will the affection and sexual passion return? We have no idea, but at the very leas you will have bettered yourself, and even if she doesn’t notice, you will! And that is a win in our book…
Building the Foundation
Physical Fitness:
Start with basic cardio (walking, jogging) 6 times a week for 30 minutes to an hour. Incorporate basic strength training exercises 4 times a week (pushups and situps). Gradually increase intensity. Include interval training in cardio sessions. Add bodyweight exercises like push-ups, pull-ups, and planks. You do not need shit tons of equipment to get ripped. Body weight exercises when done properly are plenty effective!
Mental Health:
Begin a daily meditation practice, starting with 10 minutes a day and gradually increasing. Start a daily journal. Write about the absurdities that have krept into your life and how well (or poorly) you managed them each day. Come up with ways you could have done things better.
Education:
– “12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos” by Jordan B. Peterson – Provides life advice through essays on abstract ethical principles. This book is an ass kicker, but get through it!
– “The Way of the Superior Man” by David Deida – Explores the most important issues in men’s lives from a masculine perspective.
– “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Robert A. Glover – Addresses the ‘Nice Guy Syndrome’ and finding personal happiness.
– “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor E. Frankl – A memoir about surviving the Holocaust and finding significance in all forms of existence.
– “Iron John: A Book About Men” by Robert Bly – Explores myths and cultural expectations surrounding masculinity.
– “Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win” by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin – Teaches leadership principles from a military perspective, emphasizing responsibility and discipline.
– “Come as You Are” by Emily Nagoski – This book is written more for women, but it is incredibly useful in understanding your partner’s potential lack of desire.
Continuous Development
These are just a few ideas to get your started. Supplement and add to our list above; this should be seen as the beginning of a lifelong journey of growth and self-discovery. Along with this, remember the importance of communication and mutual understanding in your relationships.
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