As I reflect back on my life, I realize that there were so many things that I worried about that, in the end, really didn’t matter. So many things that I focused on that took my attention away from what was truly important. As you sit here now, at 90 years old, I want to share with you some of the things that I have learned about what truly matters in life, and how to achieve the balance that you are looking for.
First and foremost, what matters most in life is the people that you love. The relationships that you have with your family and friends are what truly make life worth living. Take the time to cherish these relationships, and always make sure to let those around you know how much you love and appreciate them.
Secondly, don’t take life too seriously. There will be ups and downs, but at the end of the day, life is meant to be enjoyed. Take time to laugh, to enjoy the simple things, and to appreciate the beauty in the world around you.
Thirdly, always take care of yourself. You only get one body, and it is important to treat it well. Eat well and stay active. Take care of not only your physical health, but also your mental health. This will allow you to enjoy life to the fullest.
Lastly, don’t wait to live the life that you want. It is never too late to pursue your dreams, to try something new, or to take a chance. Life is too short to live with regret, so always be true to yourself, and never be afraid to take a risk.
As I look back on my life, I realize that achieving balance was not always easy. But I also know that it is never too late to make changes, to focus on what truly matters, and to create a life that is fulfilling and meaningful. So my advice to you, my dear self, is to always remember what truly matters in life, and to strive to live a life that is full of love, laughter, and happiness.
In a world where manners and respect are fading away, the idea of chivalry may seem like a relic of the past. However, the values of chivalry – respect, honor, and kindness – are as important today as they were in the Middle Ages.
Chivalry is more than just holding open doors and giving up your seat on a bus. It is a way of life that emphasizes the importance of treating others with dignity and respect, especially those who may be weaker or more vulnerable. In modern society, this can mean standing up for those who are bullied or mistreated, speaking out against injustice, and showing kindness to those who are struggling.
Being chivalrous can improve your relationships with others in countless ways. When you treat others with respect and kindness, you earn their trust and admiration. You become someone that others can rely on and turn to in times of need. And, in turn, they are more likely to treat you with the same level of respect and kindness.
Chivalry is also important in romantic relationships. When you treat your partner with respect and kindness, you build a strong foundation of trust and mutual respect. You become more attuned to their needs and desires, and are more likely to build a lasting and fulfilling relationship.
The Seven Capital Virtues of the Judeo-Christian Tradition: Chastity, Temperance, Charity, Diligence, Kindness, Patience, and Humility.These are the foundation for the art of chivalry.
But chivalry is not just about how we treat others – it is also about how we treat ourselves. When we embody the values of chivalry, we become more confident, self-assured, and grounded in our beliefs and values. We become the kind of person that we would want to be friends with.
Chivalry is not just for men, either. Women can also embody the values of chivalry and be strong, compassionate, and honorable in their interactions with others.
Unfortunately, chivalry seems to be in short supply in modern society. We are often too busy or too distracted to take the time to show kindness and respect to those around us. But by making a conscious effort to be more chivalrous in our daily lives, we can make a positive impact on those around us and help to build a more respectful and kind society.
In conclusion, chivalry may be a lost art, but it is one that is sorely needed in modern society. By embodying the values of respect, honor, and kindness, we can improve our relationships with others, build strong and lasting connections, and become the kind of person that others can look up to and admire. So let us all strive to be more chivalrous in our daily lives, and to build a better and more compassionate world. Chivarly is not dead, long live the chivalrous!
Yoda, the wise and powerful Jedi Master from the Star Wars franchise, has inspired generations with his unique brand of wisdom. While Yoda is best known for his teachings on the Force and Jedi philosophy, his words also provide insight into how we can maintain healthy relationships with others. Here are some key elements of Yoda’s wisdom and how they can be applied to building and maintaining strong connections with the people in our lives.
“Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you?”
Yoda is trying to warn others not to judge him by his appearance alone. Looking deeper and focusing on another’s character and inner qualities is important in developing strong connections. Approaching others with an open mind and heart is what allows the formation of a healthy, authentic relationship.
“Do or do not, there is no try.”
This quote emphasizes the importance of commitment in our relationships. We need to show up fully and be present for the people in our lives, putting in the effort and energy necessary to build and maintain strong connections. My grandmother used to always say, “a relationship is not ’50/50′ it is ‘100/100′”, which means you have to put in 100% to create truly deep connections with others.
“The fear of loss is a path to the Dark Side.”
Yoda’s words here serve as a reminder to not let fear drive our relationships. When we hold onto people out of fear of losing them, we create an unhealthy dynamic that can be damaging to both ourselves and the other person. Instead, we need to trust in the strength of our connections and work to build relationships that are founded on mutual respect, trust, and love.
“Patience you must have, my young Padawan.”
Building healthy relationships takes time and effort, and we need to be patient as we navigate the ups and downs of connecting with others. We need to give people the space to be themselves and not rush the process, allowing our connections to grow and develop naturally over time.
“Much to learn, you still have.”
This quote reminds us that we are always learning and growing in our relationships with others. No one is perfect, and we need to approach our connections with a sense of humility and a willingness to learn from our experiences.
“Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.”
This quote speaks to the importance of detachment in our relationships. While we want to invest in our connections and care deeply for the people in our lives, we also need to be able to let go and release our grip when necessary. This is especially true of the parent-child relationship. When we are too attached, we risk stifling our relationships, and that is no good!
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.”
Fear can be a fungal rot on any relationship. When we approach our connections from a place of fear, we risk creating a cycle of negativity and pain. Instead, we need to approach our relationships from a place of love and compassion, working to build bridges rather than walls.
By incorporating Yoda’s wisdom into our relationships with others, we can build and maintain strong connections that are grounded in authenticity, commitment, and love. Whether we are navigating romantic partnerships, friendships, or family relationships, these teachings can help us approach our connections with a sense of purpose and intentionality, which with any luck will hopefully last a lifetime!
I came across these nuggets of gold during my undergraduate work. I found them humorous and filled with very good advice for living a fulfilling and successful life. The Cowboy’s Guide to Life (at least the version I copied down in my journal many years ago) is reproduced below with our interpretations beneath each. We hope you like!
“Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.”
Worrying too much about the future is often pointless, as many of the things we worry about never actually happen. It can be better to focus on the present moment and take action to address any real problems as they arise.
“Life ain’t about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.”
Resilience and adaptability in life are paramount to living a fulfilling life. It’s not always about achieving great success or reaching the top, but about being able to handle setbacks in a constructive way.
“Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.”
Effective communication is more more about how you say something than what you say. Speaking calmly and respectfully can be remarkably persuasive.
“Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.”
A practical, problem-solving approach to life will get you much further than trying to tackle every single problem that arises. Instead of trying to remove every obstacle or challenge that comes our way, sometimes it’s easier and more effective to simply work around it.
“Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.”
Forgiveness can be a powerful tool for both the forgiver and the forgiven. It can be difficult to let go of anger and resentment, but doing will almost invariably lead to greater peace and happiness.
“Don’t sell your mule to buy a plow.”
Avoid impulsive decisions that sacrifice long-term stability for short-term gain. It’s important to consider the consequences of our actions and make decisions that will benefit us in the long run.
“If you’re ridin’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there with ya.”
Remember to stay connected to others and not become too focused on our own goals and desires. As a leader it is important to ensure that the people following you have bought into your vision of how to accomplish the task at hand. Additionally, being aware of how your actions impact others is important to becoming respected and loved.
“Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you. You cannot unsay a cruel word.”
In other words, choose our battles wisely and be mindful of our words and actions. Once something hurtful is said or done, it cannot be taken back, so it’s important to act with a healthy dose of caution and kindness.
“Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.”
The power of restraint and choosing not to engage in unnecessary conflict or drama is a very useful skill. Sometimes the best way to handle a situation is simply to stay quiet and let things play out. Another humorous way to approach this is: “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.” (I believe it was Jefferson who said this, but I could be wrong…).
“Don’t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t botherin’ you none.”
Don’t go searching for a fight! The most elite special forces in the world know this; it is better to walk away from a fight than to actively encourage it, especially when there is nothing to gain.
“Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.”
Circumstances can play a big role in whether or not someone is successful. It’s important to be aware of the factors that may impact our success and to be strategic in our actions. Often times, we cannot control these factors, but nonetheless we whould still do our best! Food-for-though: would Bill Gates have been Bill Gates if he was born in the year 1200???
“The easiest way to eat crow is while it’s still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.”
This quotation encourages us to take responsibility for our mistakes and apologize as soon as possible. The longer we wait, the harder it can be to make things right. Taking responsibility for our actions is always appropriate!
“If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.”
Pretty good advice! In other words, if things are not going the way you were hoping, it is probably better to stop doing what you are doing and re-think your strategy.
“The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with looks at you in the mirror every mornin’.”
It usually isn’t the world that gets in the way, it is our own short-comings. Get out of your own way!
“Don’t worry about bitin’ off more ‘n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger’n you think.”
Take risks and push yourself outside of comfort zones, even if it feels daunting. It’s important to remember that we are often capable of much more than we realize.
“Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.”
You will make mistakes in life! This is unavoidable. Fortunately, mistakes serve as valuable learning experience. It’s important to approach failures or setbacks with a growth mindset and use them as an opportunity to gain wisdom and improve in the future.
“Remember: Don’t squat with your spurs on.”
This humorous quotation serves as a reminder to be mindful and intentional in our actions, rather than rushing into things without proper preparation or forethought.
“Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.”
This quotation encourages us to prioritize living a life of integrity and purpose, rather than simply pursuing wealth or fame. By living in a way that aligns with our values, we can find deeper meaning and satisfaction in life.
“If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.”
Ain’t this the truth! Stay humble and don’t let success go to your head. It’s important to treat others with kindness and respect, regardless of your “status” or accomplishments.
“Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.”
This quotation encourages us to be mindful of the potential consequences of our words and actions. It’s important to think before we speak or act, because once something is said or done, it can be difficult or impossible to take back.
“The best sermons are lived, not preached.”
This saying emphasizes the importance of leading by example. Our actions speak louder than our words, so it’s important to strive to be a positive role model for others.
“Keep skunks and politicians and lawyers at a distance.”
Treat everyone with respect, but reminder to be cautious and discerning in your relationships and interactions with others. A corollary to this is that it is important to surround ourselves with people who uplift and support us, rather than those who may bring negativity or drama into our lives.
“It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.”
Let go of anger and resentment towards others; holding onto grudges only harms ourselves in the long run. It takes strength to forgive and move on, but doing so can bring greater peace and happiness into our lives.
“If it don’t seem like it’s worth the effort, it probably ain’t.”
It is important to be mindful of where we invest our time and energy, and to focus on pursuits that truly matter to us. If we don’t follow this rule it is easy to get distracted and flounder in life.
“It’s better to be a has-been than a never-was.”
This quotation encourages us to take risks and pursue our dreams, rather than letting fear hold us back. Just by trying at something you are already proving your worth in life.
Mother Teresa is widely regarded as one of the most inspirational figures of the 20th century. She is known for her tireless efforts to help the poor and sick. Her message of love and compassion can serve as a guide for improving relationships with our loved ones. Here are some tips inspired by Mother Teresa’s wisdom:
Practice empathy
Mother Teresa believed in the importance of empathy, putting herself in the shoes of those she helped to understand their struggles and needs. To improve your relationship with your loved ones, it is essential to practice empathy. By understanding their perspectives and experiences you will gain, hopefully, newfound respect and admiration.
Be patient
Mother Teresa was known for her patience and perseverance in the face of adversity. To improve your relationship with your family, it is important to be patient, especially if there are “demons” in the closet or prior misunderstandings that need to be cleared. It may take time to rebuild trust and repair relationships, but with patience and perseverance, it is absolutely possible.
Show gratitude
Mother Teresa was a great advocate of gratitude, recognizing that being thankful for what we have is essential for leading a fulfilling life. It is important to show gratitude, taking time to appreciate the things your loved ones do for you, and expressing your appreciation through words and actions.
Practice forgiveness
Mother Teresa believed in the power of forgiveness. Holding grudges only leads to more pain and suffering. Practice forgiveness, let go of past hurts and resentments, and move forward with a clean slate.
Communicate openly and honestly
Mother Teresa believed in the power of open and honest communication, recognizing that communication is the key to building strong relationships. It is essential to communicate openly and honestly. Share your thoughts, feelings, and concerns in a respectful and constructive manner.
Be present and attentive
Mother Teresa was known for her deep sense of presence and attentiveness, making others feel seen and heard. Make time to truly connect with them, listen to their stories, and be fully engaged in the moment.
In conclusion, by practicing empathy, being patient, showing gratitude, practicing forgiveness, communicating openly and honestly, and being present and attentive, it is absolutely possible to repair familial relationships or significantly improve already good ones. Mother Teresa’s message of love and compassion can serve as a guide for fostering deeper connections with those we love, helping us create a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
The poem “Time-Tested Beauty” written by Samuel Levenson, and popularized by Audrey Hepburn, can offer insights and guidance on how to become a better person. A version of the poem is reproduced below:
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge you’ll never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anybody. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you’ll find one at the end of your arm. As you grow older you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
Here are some ways in which the poem can help make you a better person:
Embrace timeless values: The poem highlights the importance of embracing timeless values such as honesty, kindness, and courage. I have never heard anyone say I wish I was less honest, kind, or courageous.
Focus on the things that matter: The poem emphasizes that true beauty lies in the things that cannot be seen, such as kindness, generosity, and love. By focusing on beauty there is less room and time to focus on negativities
Stay true to yourself: The poem encourages you to stay true to yourself. A surefire way to fail is to try to be someone you are not. Embrace your individuality and be true to yourself.
Practice kindness and generosity: The poem emphasizes the importance of practicing kindness and generosity, even when it may not be easy. By focusing on these values, you can become a better man by exhibiting compassion and generosity towards others.
In conclusion, the poem “Time-Tested Beauty” can provide valuable insights and guidance on how to become a better person. By embracing timeless values, focusing on what truly matters, staying true to yourself, and practicing kindness and generosity, you can improve yourself and become a better person.
John Wooden, also known as the Wizard of Westwood, and arguably one of the greatest coaches in the history of basketball, developed a philosophy of life known as the Pyramid of Success. The Pyramid of Success is a set of principles that Wooden believed were essential to achieving success both on and off the court. How can the Pyramid be used to drive success for your team? Let’s find out…
Industriousness
Industriousness is the foundation of the Pyramid of Success. It is the first step in achieving any goal, as hard work and perseverance are necessary to overcome obstacles and achieve success. As a leader, it is important to encourage industriousness in your team by setting a positive example and recognizing the hard work of others.
Enthusiasm
Enthusiasm, or the passion for what one is doing, is a key component of the Pyramid of Success. When individuals are passionate about their work, they are more likely to put in the extra effort needed to achieve the team’s goals. As a leader, it is important to foster enthusiasm in your team by sharing your own passion for the work and encouraging others to find their own sense of purpose.
Initiative
Initiative, or taking the first step towards a goal, is essential to achieving success. When individuals take initiative, they are demonstrating their commitment to the goal and their willingness to put in the effort to make it happen. Encourage members to take ownership of their work and provide them with the resources they need to be successful.
Friendship
Friendship, or the ability to build strong, positive relationships, is a critical component of the Pyramid of Success. When individuals work together in a supportive and collaborative environment, they are more likely to achieve their goals and reach their full potential. Ask yourself one simple question: would you rather work with complete strangers or a group of close friends to achieve your goals?
Loyalty
Loyalty, or the willingness to remain committed to a goal even in the face of adversity, is essential to achieving success. When individuals remain loyal to a goal, they are demonstrating their commitment to their team and their willingness to put in the effort to make it happen. As a leader, it is important to foster loyalty in your team by promoting a sense of unity and encouraging members to stay focused on the goal, even when faced with challenges.
Cooperation
Cooperation, or the ability to work together towards a common goal, is a critical component of the Pyramid of Success. When individuals work together in a cooperative and supportive environment, they are more likely to achieve their goals and reach their full potential. As a leader, it is important to foster cooperation in your team by promoting open communication, encouraging collaboration, and recognizing the contributions of all team members.
Adaptability
Adaptability, or the ability to change and adjust to new situations, is essential to achieving success. When individuals are adaptable, they are able to overcome challenges and find new and innovative ways to achieve their goals. As a leader, it is important to foster adaptability in your team by encouraging members to embrace change, providing opportunities for growth, and promoting a culture of continuous improvement.
Patience
Patience, or the willingness to wait for the right opportunity, is a critical component of the Pyramid of Success. When individuals are patient they take the time to fully consider their options. Encourage members to think critically, make well-informed decisions, and avoid rushing into things. Additionally, it is important to recognize that success may take time and to be patient in the face of challenges and setbacks.
Industriousness
Industriousness, or the willingness to work hard, is the foundation of the Pyramid of Success. It is the first step in achieving any goal, as hard work and perseverance are necessary to overcome obstacles and achieve success. As a leader, it is important to encourage industriousness in your team by setting a positive example and recognizing the hard work of others.
Faith
Faith is a critical component of the Pyramid of Success. When individuals have faith in themselves and their abilities, they are more likely to overcome obstacles and achieve their goals. As a leader, it is important to foster faith in your team by encouraging members to believe in themselves, promoting a sense of purpose, and recognizing the importance of spiritual growth.
Poise
Poise, or the ability to maintain one’s composure in the face of adversity, is essential to achieving success. When individuals are able to maintain their poise in the face of challenges, they are more likely to make well-informed decisions and overcome obstacles. As a leader, it is important to foster poise in your team by encouraging members to remain calm and composed in the face of challenges and setbacks.
Confidence
Confidence, or the belief in oneself and one’s abilities, is a critical component of the Pyramid of Success. When individuals are confident, they are more likely to overcome obstacles and achieve their goals. As a leader, it is important to foster confidence in your team by encouraging members to believe in themselves, promoting a sense of purpose, and recognizing the strengths and abilities of others.
By applying these principles of the Pyramid of Success, you can help your team strive towards a common goal. It is important to remember that success is not just about achieving a particular goal, but also about the journey and the growth that comes with it. As a leader, it is your responsibility to provide the guidance, support, and resources needed to help your team reach its full potential.
In conclusion, John Wooden’s Pyramid of Success is a powerful framework for achieving success and helping others do the same. By applying these principles, you can foster a positive, supportive, and collaborative environment that will help your team thrive. Whether you are leading a team in sports or business, the Pyramid of Success provides a roadmap to greatness.
My absolute favorite list of life lessons are the Paradoxical Commandments. Written by Dr. Kent M. Keith, they offer a profound approach to achieving our goals. I have found them to be very effective at helping me be the best father I can be. Here are some ways you can use the paradoxical commandments to be a great dad…
“People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway.”
Being a great father requires patience, understanding, and unconditional love. For all the parents out there you know all to frequently how your little ones can be illogical, unreasonable, and very frequently self-centered. By loving them despite these things, you set a positive example and foster a strong, loving relationship with your children.
“If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish motives. Do good anyway.”
When you focus on being a great father, it can be easy to get caught up in societal expectations and the need for validation. Focus on doing what you feel is best for your family; don’t worry that others may not understand or appreciate your motives.
“If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.”
Being a great father requires dedication and hard work, and success in this area may bring about challenges and obstacles. However, by continuing to strive for success and being a great father, you will build a strong foundation for your family and set a positive example for your children.
“The good you do today, will often be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.”
Your efforts to be a great father may not always be acknowledged or appreciated, but the impact that you have on your children will last a lifetime. By continuing to do what is best for your family, you can sleep well at night.
“Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.”
Being a great father requires being open and honest with your children, even if this makes you vulnerable. By being honest and transparent, you build trust and foster a strong relationship with your children, which will benefit your family in the long run.The Paradoxical Commandments offer a unique approach to becoming a great parent. By embracing these commandments and focusing on loving your children unconditionally, doing what is best for your family, and being honest and transparent, you will teach your children how to be good and productive members of society.
